A divorce expert has revealed that sleeping in separate beds could help save marriages rather than lead to their end.
Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online, says there is a rising trend of couples choosing to sleep apart, known as ‘sleep divorce’, and this can be a unique but effective solution to save a relationship.
“Many people assume separate beds mean trouble in a marriage, but in reality, it’s quite different,” Keenan explained. “Couples who prioritise quality sleep often report improved mood, patience, and communication with their partner.”
Statistics from the National Bed Federation show that nearly one in six (15%) British couples who live together sleep apart, with almost nine out of 10 (89%) of them doing so in separate rooms. The findings also show that so-called “Sleep Divorce” is on the rise.
“Poor sleep can lead to grumpiness and, in turn, this can reduce our ability to handle conflict productively,” said Keenan. “Lacking good sleep can lead to negative effects which could spill over into your relationship and create an unnecessary strain on a healthy marriage.”
Benefits of sleep divorce range from sleep quality improvements due to a lack of things like snoring, tossing, alarms, or different sleep schedules, and in turn, less conflict over issues with sleep. Improved health for both partners from being well-rested can also be a big plus.
“Many couples, unfortunately, suffer in silence rather than sorting out issues with sleep,” Keenan said. “What’s important is communication and finding solutions that work for both partners, even if that means unconventional sleeping arrangements.”
The findings from the National Bed Federation data also show that more than half (56%) of those who had decided to sleep separately said it had improved their sleep ‘a lot’. This better rest can mean an improvement in relationship quality during waking hours. Keenan believes this shows the general cruciality of addressing practical issues that concern the daily workings of a relationship.
“Well-rested couples often have better relationships than those who don’t,” said Keenan. “If separate sleeping arrangements help achieve that goal, couples shouldn’t feel worried about what it might show about their relationship.”
Sleeping separately does have its cons as well. The physical closeness lost can be tough, in addition to the new distance between couples. Bedtime conversations can be lost as well, which sometimes offer bonding through casual conversation. However, this isn’t the end of the world, Keenan explains:
“Those who choose to sleep separately should dedicate time to physical intimacy and connection. The bedroom isn’t the only place for intimacy in a relationship; and couples will need to work together to create meaningful and memorable moments outside of it.”
For any couples who are thinking of changing their sleeping plans, Keenan suggests that you start with a trial period. “Give it a try for around a month and see how it affects both your sleep quality and your relationship in that time.”
“What matters is finding what works for you and your companion’s relationship,” Keenan concluded. “If sleeping separately means you’re both happier and healthier when you’re awake together, that’s a better alternative than sharing a bed but resenting each other due to issues with your sleep.”
